Just one more chapter is a lie ( PART 1)

Things are not always in your hands...sometimes you need to make affords and get them into your hands...

When I was young, I always thought that my life would never be so hard and I would ever feel so helpless...

Hey..! don't panic, nothing happened...but ...when you are a kid, everything is really disturbing...isn't it?

First of all, how have you all been?...

Sorry for the delay...lately, I have been busy with my University stuff....oh ..and it's so freaking disturbing...and these changes gave me the idea to pull up a few of my schooling memories and stick them here....so here they are.

But before everything, like always ...let me ask you a question...What were your best memories from your school days...

Let's start with my high school.

And I know ..what comes to your mind when you hear high school..." Board Exams"..see I guessed it correctly, didn't I..?

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Okay..here...I dedicate this blog to all the students in high school and senior high school...who'll appear for board exams...^^

If you are in high school or will be in high school soon...this is for you...Take these as advice from your 

siss.

When I just got promoted to 10th grade or high school I say, to me it was all normal as in other classes but it was special.

I got the best grade among my friends circle... I was flying high. And most importantly, now I was a senior...Something I was really impatient about.

But these rays of sunshine lasted only for a few weeks... because after that, I started receiving calls from my close relatives .... far relatives, and even from people whom I never knew or met... I mean seriously, they never called us before... but when they learned from my close relative that I have been promoted to High School. They called ... they called us to make my easy-going life, a piece of hell... I literally mean it okay...! 

Basically in my school, most probably in every school, before summer breaks, school opens for 2 months i.e. March and April. So that year also was the same. And these months were really nothing...like I can say, the least frustrating month because not everyone knew about me. 

But when we visited our close relatives and not-so-close relatives, the first question they asked was- "beta, konsi class mei phad rahe ho...?"

Okay,
let me translate this- "what grade are you in.."

And I was like, so excited to say " 10th grade.."

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Alright, the real story begins now...

and they said- "study hard...!"

ugh...Like I never knew I had to study hard...haha...

Everywhere I went, I was asked the same question and I answer it by saying -" I just got promoted to high school..."

And next thing they would say was- "Board examination is the toughest exam, study with all your focus."

" It will determine your future..."

"This is your last chance to prove yourself..."

"Don't let your parents get insulted because of your marks..."

"You are the eldest among your sibling...they'll follow you..."

"Your parents are working so hard don't disappoint them..."

Damn..! I know this...uff.

"Study day and night..."

Everyone said what to do...but no one guided how to exactly do it...

Okay, lemme tell you about me as a person...I am a person who can manage things when I'm calm and chill...but I get stressed out easily and that's when I can't do things properly.

To be honest with you guys, I never got stressed about my studies because I was always a good student...my parents never received any complaint about me, not performing well in my studies during school days ...the only complaint they received were -

I was talkative, I fought with some boy, and I missed the class (oh~ you wanna say I bunked the class...Nah I didn't call it a bunk till 11th grade...it was just playing in the ground😉 haha)

I was among mischievous children in my class, who always disliked boys...

Like I said ...I was never afraid of exams...I was always able to manage to study for the exam till the last moment...

And after listening to all these words I developed a fear of not scoring well...of disappointing my parents and not meeting their expectations...

And my parents also started saying the same things...at least 3-4 times a day...

These things turned me restless...

You know what ...I'm so much in love with sleep...I can sleep for 18 -21 hrs on the go...seriously..!

but at that time I couldn't sleep... neither during the day nor at night...I could hardly sleep for 3-4 hrs...Okay, that's called  "Insomnia"...and ya I suffered through it...

And lemme tell you one secret...my mom- dad still don't know about this... I just didn't want them to know. 

And since my room was upstairs they thought I was studying because I always had books in my hand...I seriously didn't wanted to fake it ... I used to sit for studying only but it did turn up that way...!

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I share my room with my sisters so they are the only people who know everything that I went through... 

I don't say I suffered to Death ...but for me, at that age it was hell...

Actually...I'm bad at explaining things so I never try to tell or explain...I know that's not so impressive but that was me ... and so whenever my parents asked me whether everything was okay I just tried to avoid or deviate from the topic and just say.." ya...! I'm all fine...what's wrong..?

But they are parents you know... they always figure out whether something is wrong or not...

They stopped talking about the exam and said just chill you'll do it...and I was like.." aaa.. umm ya ya off course..!" 

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But once anything starts disturbing me...nothing can get me back to the state...and so .. nothing changed...

I stopped talking to everyone...even my parents... 

They tried to start the conversation but I was the one to ruin it ... I became even more rude...

I only talked to my sisters.  fingers crossed...I'm blessed with the best siblings in the world...they are my best friends and there is nothing they don't know ...about me...just wanted to mention..."shout out to you guys"

(To be frank, I have really awesome friends too.. to whom I can call at midnight for anything and any help.....🤗 )

shout out to you guys too or haan subscribe kr dena okay..!.. bhut tareef kr di tumhari..😂^^

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Ya, where was I?

okay okay, so I shared everything with my sisters and brother. 

I felt so much stressed and couldn't perform well in my midterms... It's not like I was not studying but I was scared...I don't know how am I supposed to explain how I felt ..but it was enough to sink me down even more... I went into a depression...not extreme but ya...

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There was a little gap between the dressing mirror and the cupboard in my room ... I used to sit there and cry my eyes out...and that's when my siblings started calling me "Shinchan"...

In the next term, my sisters were always with me...every second, and..they always tried to motivate me, and tbh I never lie to my sisters and so I said whatever I felt ...Most of the time I was like-

"I'm useless"

"I can't do it "

"My life is a waste"

I had lost my self-esteem...okay, I don't wanna turn this into a boring and negative blog so fast forward to my first examination day 6 March 2017 a day before my birthday...I had my Hindi exam.. in the exam hall my heart was like... just gonna pop off my body...and I would die anytime...Damn, I was shivering like literally, I couldn't hold my pen properly ...my hands started sweating ...

At that moment I remembered everything that people said ...and was so hopeless...and then the teacher gave me the sheets to fill...maybe she saw me tensed ...so she came close to me and smiled ... I smiled back at her...That was so comforting and she was so sweet.😊

Then she gave me the question paper...I read the questions...and BOOM..!

It was all that I knew...Lol... I was like shit..!

I thought maybe the next exam would be tough...and then next and next...Lmao...Nothing turned out to be so difficult okay... It was just me who made everything messed... I don't regret it... Umm maybe I do and a lot ...🤔 but the past can't be just changed but we can focus on the future so I didn't repeat this in my Senior high school...It's not like I didn't receive any calls...I did and this time even more but what changed was my attitude ...

I didn't take any of their words ...They said the same...and replied with a big smile .." off course...it's tough..."

Now, lemme tell you a similar story... and let's just make it short and sweet... because it's getting too long....okay here you go...

There was a girl named Lana Huyang, age 21...who was fascinated by cooking and wanted to be the chief. She was a good cook, everyone, around her, admired her and one day she received a form which was for participation in the greatest food fest competition. The man who gave her the form looked like the authorized person. He was smart and good-looking and of age 26- 27.

He said..." We visited your cafe a few times..and we liked the food. and the presentation as well so here you go ...there is no need for you to pay the registration fee. You shouldn't miss the chance..." And he turned back to his car. She was speechless, by the time she came back to her senses he had already left.

She felt so dumb to not ask him his name and any other information about him. She sat on the nearest chair in the cafe and thought about it. At last, she decided to not miss the opportunity that had hit her. The competition was after 2 days. She was so excited about it that she couldn't sleep the night before the vie. 

The next day the competition started. There were 3 rounds to be conducted and each of 2hrs and with half an hour break in between.

She sat near her resources and did a little recce of the area before picking the ingredients for her recipe.

In a minute the first round began and the dish to be prepared was a dessert of their own choice...she completed her recipe within 1.5 hrs ..everyone gave her a suspicious look ... 

When everyone started looking at her she felt a bit uncomfortable but she managed to hide the discomfort.

For a second she was like- "Is anything wrong with me..?"

then she closed her eyes and took a deep breath to make herself relax... when she heard a deep voice -"Are you done...?"

She opened her eyes... and politely responded-" ~oh yes..!"

The man seemed to be cold, he just nodded his head...and kept looking at her dessert -"Brownie Cookies with Salted Caramel creme filling...Your special Dessert..."  he said, smirking at her. 

How did the man know that this was her special dessert recipe?  

"Did he ever visit my cafe...?" she murmured.

Tick tock

The timer ended and it was time for judgment... She was confident that she would get qualified for the next round... and there she was. There were 25 participants and she had made it to the top 10. She was in the air... 

During the break, she heard a few girls discussing the man whose company had organized the event..." Liam firm".

"So his name is Liam" - she murmured to herself. "Yes, sir..!" she heard someone, she shifted her glance toward him

There she noticed a familiar guy with Liam. He was the same person who had given her the form for the competition...

"Do they know each other..? she questioned.

And she rushed towards them."HELLO...!" she wished.

"How are you, sir...? 

"I'm good"- he replied with a smile.

"THANK YOU ..! so much for the opportunity, I didn't even ask your name...I owe you a big favor. If  there's ever anything I can do for you in return, please do ask"

" Oh no no ...Miss Lana, you don't owe me any favor...I didn't do anything...It was Mr. Liam ..."

"ahem"... Liam interrupted "It's time for the second round...get back to your place miss Lana.."

By this time Lana got the hint that it was offered by Liam but why...?

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.okay, I guess you all know the reason... why.

Is it turning out to be a romantic story...oh yes.. it is...!

The people around were noticing Lana...they saw her with Liam and his Assistant and started judging her.

A few competitors also commented ..." She was just lucky this time"

few said- " she might be close to Liam, so that's the reason she got qualified but this is inequitable "

"she's such a...".

Lana could hear everything but just remained calm...

The next round began and this time Lana was disturbed by what she had heard from people... she couldn't focus on the dish properly ...Liam was observing this but couldn't understand what was wrong with her.. she was so confident but not now...she was stressed. 

Liam was lost in thoughts when he heard the sound of something breaking..."Kssshhhhk" 

that brought him to his senses. 

Lana had broken the container in which she had kept her dish...

She had messed up everything and had no 2nd option. She was about to cry because she had to start it all over again and she was out of time ..she was left with just 45min. She thought it was impossible because the dish would take at least 1 hr to get prepared.

She started looking all around and then she looked at Liam whose gaze was fixed on her. 

Liam gave her a soft look and whispered "Start again..be quick" from afar.

Lana rushed to get the ingredients and started again...thankfully she was able to complete the dish on time.

But this time she was on the last call in the top 5.

People got another chance-" See, I told you it's just her luck"

"you know, for the last 5 years, the winner of this competition is Miss. Tang  and there is no chance of anyone else and especially not her."

" Ya Miss Tang is amazing no one could defeat her "

All these words were somewhere making Lana weak. She moved out from the kitchen and sat on the seat in the main hall she was feeling lonely, helpless, and obviously afraid of losing. All the negative thoughts started to hit her and the tears rolled down her cheek... 

"Aahh...! you're here." Liam had already watched her move out of the room and so followed her.

"Are you crying..?"

"what's wrong...?"

"Are you crying because you broke the bowl..?

Don't worry I'll not ask you to pay me back for that..umm hmm."

She was still crying ... Liam then sat down on his knees in front of her and said-"Or are you crying because you heard people comparing you to Tang...?"

Lana's eyes were full of tears...

Liam then said- " Look at me, Lana, why did I choose you to participate in the competition... because I believe you have the potential... and if you lose your confidence and don't trust yourself no one can trust you...

There won't be anyone who would say- 'you can'...you have to say it to yourself...people always believe, if they couldn't do something, you won't be able to do it either and they'll try their best to make you believe this.."

"This is when you have to not listen to them ...listen with one ear and remove it from the same ear don't let it reach your mind..hmm.."

Umm, you're getting me ..right?

HEY...! I'M ASKING YOU, reader.

Liam's words made sense and  pulled her back to normal...

This time she kept his words in mind and completed the competition with soul and mind ...

And obviously...I don't like sad endings so... She won the competition,

Wait..she didn't win because I wanted her to win but because she deserved it...remember I said she was an amazing chief...

BTW do write in the comment box what you understood from Liam's words?

And here are few words I would like to share with you

• Board exams are not the toughest exam...chill bro ..sit back..take a deep breath and believe in yourself...let others say anything about you ... The person who knows you the best is 'you'.
• Next time when someone says it's difficult ..say "Yes.. it is"..it'll make them happy and you won't be even affected.

And never forget I'm always there for you...if you need any help I'm just a text away...you can follow me on my IG @vintage_louv_anecdote or @the_methodic_lifestyle

Thank you so much...let's talk soon ...till then take care...^^